Wednesday, 7 July 2010

UN Reinstates Term “Dumb Mick”

New York; With a landslide majority vote of 190 to 1 the UN voted this Thursday to reinstate the term “Dumb Mick” as an officially recognised derogatory term when referring to the nation and people of the Republic of Ireland. Having been outlawed since 1995 the return of this popular term has delighted critics of the Irish State who feel it has been a long time coming.

“For too long we have had the image of the Celtic Tiger thrust in our faces.” said a whiny Britain. “It’s about time those Paddys came back down to earth with a bang.”
Since the collapse of the Irish economy the rest of the world has awoken from the trance they were in, realising that all in all during the boom times Ireland had contributed very little to furthering the human race and had in fact spent all of their money on flat screen televisions and small hand held telephone devices.

Ireland, it would seem, had not been the centre of the fucking universe.

“Celtic Tiger? Celtic Pussys more like, har har har!” Commented Australia in a casual observation of the Irish sheepishness since the collapse of their economy and the Irish peoples utter inability to do anything other than feel impotent rage and mawkishly bitch and moan about the whole situation.

France declined to comment and Germany simply squeezed their thumb and forefinger on the bridge of their nose, and wincing, let out an audible sigh of stoic annoyance.
Ireland was unavailable for comment as it had clapped its hands over its ears and was reciting its usual mantra. “la la la la la la la la la!”.

While the world remained divided on whether Ireland was in fact a third rate, First World basketcase or a first rate, Third World basketcase, everyone was in agreement that Israel is a complete asshole.

Below: The traditional image of a Celtic Cub c. 1999-2008

...and today

No comments:

Post a Comment