Hot on the heels of their group masturbation over the Royal Wedding the Republic of Ireland's island folk brace themselves for the state visit of Queen Elizabeth II to their shores. Given the historical and political past and present between the two countries there are widespread divisions amongst its' people as to what the visit actually signifies.
Fair and Balanced reporting:
We dispatched our mute roving reporter from the Seventh Circle of Funk first to England to see what the anticipation there was and then on to the fair Emerald Isle to see the reaction from the regular man on the street of the twee nation that brought the world Leprechauns, Guinness and itchy Aran Jumpers.
"I just know those awful peasants will be waiting for me to put my foot in it."
"I really, really hope that Phillip can't make the trip."
"Not to put too fine a point on it but the paddys really need this visit by Her Majesty. Don't forget, Dublin was once the second most important city in the British Empire, which is no small feat. They're going through a rough time bless them and God knows they need to find something that they can take pride in."
"Loike, I don't know what all the fuss is about. Any of my friends that I talk to are, loike, so totally over that whole Northern Orland thing."
"I've been on the dole now for over two and a half years. The new government have done nothing to show me that they're any different than the last shower of bastards.
Somehow I know the Queen is responsible for all this, so yes, I'll be out protesting."
"Ah here, wharah yiz all moanin abouh, sure if we can open are arms to that black fella comin over and visitin can't we open are arms for the quee-hen? Come on Arelan, grow up!"
"We are totally opposed to this visit by Queen Elizabeth and are willing to kill Irish men, women and children to prove our point."
|A T-shirt vendor on Dublin's famous O'Connell Street panders to both groups with a selection of tasteful designs|